Things Riley Said

February 19, 2011

“Baby raccoons are cute. Adult raccoons are cute too, but they’re also kinda sketchy. Like Lindsay Lohan.”

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February 26, 2010

“Oh God, the guys just got back from downtown for Bobby’s birthday. Bobby’s plastered, Brian’s head is shaved, and Jared’s missing.”

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January 21, 2010

Riley: Either way, I’m still going to make you teach me keys.
Kat: I just don’t see what there is to teach.
Riley: How I make the music happen.

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December 2, 2009

“What the fuck is up with Kwijibo McFakeyname? Why do I get a new Facebook invite every six months to support her new attempt at being relevant?”

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June 22, 2009

” ‘I’m going to drink whiskey and eat nachos in the meantime.’
It’s sentences like that that make you the coolest girl I know.”

(Editor’s note: Thanks, Riley. I know, I’m rad.)

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May 3, 2009

“We would up stuffing everything but 2 items into the car:
1. A giant military foot-locker dealy full of random items.

2. My mom.

My buddy Danny from Whitby drove the locker dealy back with him today sometime. We made my mom take the train.”

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April 13, 2009

“When Jeff and Massin came up on Superbowl weekend, I was like, more drunk than… matter. Even the air near me was drunk.”

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April 13, 2009

Riley says: Last radio pub I didn’t get nearly as annihilated as I expected. The first time I drank like, a bucket of gin.

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April 13, 2009

Kat: *complains about how I want it to be August already*
Riley: Bah, it’ll be here before you know it. And then you’ll be all “lol moving” and move to Toronto. And then you’ll think “Holy fuck, it’s August already.” The end. I downloaded Cloverfield today.

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March 2, 2009

Riley was pulled over for driving like a maniac while his parents were in the car. His dad felt the need to repeatedly get out of the car, despite the officer’s requests to remain inside for his own safety.

Riley: Do what the cop says and get back in the fucking car before I shoot you myself!

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February 23, 2009

Riley: Sony laptops used to have a tendency to catch fire and explode. …It isn’t Sony, is it?
Kat: ….. =(

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February 20, 2009

Riley says:
http://www.adventuresofriley.com
Riley says:
Someone wrote a motherfucking book about me! The kid even looks like me! The main character is a little red-headed kid named Riley. I’M a little red-headed kid named Riley! That’s it, I’m suing.

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February 19, 2009

Riley and his friends were trying to determind their BACs after a night at the bar:

Chris: I’m…ahm gonna saaay… one point… three.
Riley: That would mean you’re like, pure alcohol. And holding a beer.